so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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