You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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