How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
