What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
