he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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