You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
