"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
