My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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