I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
