You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
