this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
