I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Barsexuality is the new black.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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