I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
