Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
