winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
