So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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