Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize