I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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