Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
