I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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