i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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