I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
