I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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