Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
