They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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