you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
