When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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