There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
