boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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