you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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