State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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