the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
