Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
