What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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