she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
send nudes
from the living room?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
