I forgot how hot balto sounded
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
