I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
