maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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