If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
