we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
