I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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