We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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