let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
