I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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