somebody snuck up and got me drunk
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
