I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
