why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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