He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
