Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
