"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
