just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize