just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
