So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
