dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
