how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
