Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
