I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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