What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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