I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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