I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
