Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
