Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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