Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
