Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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