so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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