What a fucking waste of an outfit
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
