Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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